However, for many, confidence remains an elusive quality, slipping away precisely when it is most needed. Astonishingly, 85% 1 of individuals have reported grappling with self-confidence challenges at some point in their lives, with a staggering 95% 1 recognizing its pivotal role in professional success! So, how does one tap into the potent force of confidence and unlock their true potential?

In the exploration ahead, we will delve into the essence of confidence, understanding what makes someone confident, and uncover practical tips and strategies to aid in the cultivation of this empowering quality!

Defining Confidence:

Confidence is a positive and assured mindset that empowers individuals to confront challenges, take risks, and pursue their goals. This mental state is marked by a strong sense of self-belief, inner strength, and a positive outlook. It encompasses faith in one’s capabilities, competence, and judgment.

Watch the video below for insights on sounding confident on the phone with 5 simple steps:

Yet, confidence extends beyond mere self-assurance; it serves as a state of mind enabling individuals to navigate diverse aspects of life, including relationships, professional pursuits, and social interactions, with a blend of poise and assertiveness. This holistic approach to confidence encompasses a positive self-image and the ability to face life’s complexities with resilience and grace.

Traits of Confident Individuals:

Confident individuals demonstrate a spectrum of key traits and behaviors that contribute to their positive mindset and effective navigation of life’s challenges:

1. Self-assurance: Possessing a sense of certainty in their abilities and decision-making.

2. Resilience: The capability to rebound from setbacks, failures, or rejections with perseverance.

3. Positive self-image: Cultivating a healthy perception of self-worth and recognizing personal strengths.

4. Assertiveness: Effectively expressing needs, setting boundaries, and communicating ideas and opinions.

5. Willingness to take risks: Embracing new opportunities and ventures with confidence.

6. Adaptability: Maintaining an openness to change and viewing challenges as opportunities for growth.

7. Effective communication: Demonstrating skills in clear expression, active listening, and engaging in meaningful conversations.

These traits collectively contribute to the well-rounded and assertive nature of confident individuals as they navigate various aspects of life.

Understanding the Origins of Low Confidence:

What causes a lack of confidence?

The origins of low confidence stem from a variety of factors, forming a complex interplay that affects individuals differently. These factors include negative past experiences, the tendency to compare oneself to others, insufficient support, the relentless pursuit of perfection, a lack of expertise or knowledge, the fear of judgment, traumatic experiences, and societal pressures. Anxiety and depression further compound the issue.

Moreover, scientific debates surround the roots of confidence, with some studies 2 indicating a potential link to genetic makeup, emphasizing the intricate balance between nature and nurture in shaping one’s confidence level 2. This suggests that confidence is influenced by a combination of inherent and environmental factors.

Can low confidence be treated?

The good news is that low confidence is not a permanent state and can be effectively treated and improved. While the journey to building confidence is a gradual process that requires dedication, various strategies can significantly contribute to boosting self-confidence, aligning with the suggestions outlined in this article.

Confidence development is an ongoing journey that can be nurtured over time through self-reflection, personal growth, and consistent practice 3. By actively challenging self-limiting beliefs, setting and achieving meaningful goals, and embracing personal strengths, individuals can foster confidence and enjoy the positive outcomes it brings.

Let’s explore a range of tips and strategies designed to assist in the gradual and sustainable development of confidence!

15 Strategies to Build Your Confidence

Uncover Your Strengths and Define Your Purpose

A lack of confidence often intertwines with a sense of unhappiness, and this unhappiness is frequently rooted in a lack of purpose or understanding of one’s values and strengths. To elevate both confidence and happiness, delve into the core of your identity—discover what truly brings you joy and engages you in a state of flow.

For assistance in identifying your strengths and purpose, leading to enhanced happiness and confidence, consider engaging in the following activities:

1. Start a Success File: Compile a record of every success and triumph you’ve experienced, whether in a digital format (emails, screenshots of positive comments) or physical (awards, uplifting letters). Continuously add new successes to this file for a confidence boost.

2. Reflect: Ask yourself, “What activities make time fly by?” Reflect on moments of genuine enjoyment and fulfillment.

3. Seek Feedback from Others: Inquire about how others perceive your best qualities and attributes.

4. Take an Assessment: Utilize tools such as StrengthsFinder to explore and identify your unique strengths.

5. Keep a Success Journal: Document accomplishments, positive feedback, and success stories, identifying recurring themes over time.

6. Explore New Things: Step out of your comfort zone and try new activities or roles that capture your interest, even if only in small ways. This exploration can lead to unexpected sources of enjoyment.

By actively engaging in these activities, you can uncover your strengths, clarify your purpose, and embark on a journey toward increased happiness and confidence.

Adopt a Stress-Relieving Pastime

Stress and anxiety can pose challenges to confidence by impairing cognitive functioning. When clear thinking becomes elusive, it often results in self-doubt, hesitation, and a general sense of uncertainty—all of which erode confidence. Prioritizing self-care becomes crucial not only for overall well-being but also for maintaining confidence.

Among the various approaches to reducing stress and enhancing confidence is incorporating self-care activities that bring joy and relaxation. This may involve embracing hobbies, spending quality time with loved ones, exploring creative outlets, engaging in physical exercise, or simply dedicating moments to relaxation.

Considering a new hobby? Explore possibilities such as:

• Gardening
• Painting or drawing
• Yoga or meditation
• Reading
• Cooking
• Photography
• Playing a musical instrument
• Crafting
• Outdoor activities like biking, hiking, or boating
• Journaling
• Geocaching
• Historical reenactments
• Beekeeping
• Woodworking
• Traveling
• Sudoku

By integrating stress-relieving activities into your routine, you can foster a healthier mindset and contribute to building and sustaining confidence.

Develop Assertiveness through “I” Statements

Assertiveness, closely associated with confidence, is a vital trait enabling individuals to articulate themselves effectively, advocate for their needs, and establish healthy boundaries.

For those grappling with expressing themselves, there is a risk of unintentionally adopting passive or accusatory communication styles. A practical approach to mitigating passive language involves taking ownership of emotions and ideas, achieved through the use of “I” language. Consider the following examples:

See the distinction? Utilizing assertive language enhances clarity regarding your needs, facilitating a better understanding for others on how to provide support. This, in turn, enhances relationships and overall well-being.

Pro Tip: Initiate your journey towards assertiveness in less demanding situations and progressively advance to more challenging ones. Start by articulating preferences, making straightforward requests, or confidently expressing a “no” when required.

Fine-tune your vocal power

Your voice, particularly during initial phone or face-to-face interactions, reflects your inner confidence and mood, shaping the initial impression you make with your first “hello.” A weak vocal delivery might convey low self-esteem or disinterest, while an overly strong one may come off as aggressive or rude. Is your voice enhancing or hindering others’ perceptions of you? Let’s explore!

Participants were prompted to record themselves saying “hello” in six distinct ways:

• Normal Hello (This serves as the control.)
• Happy Hello (Envisioning a joyful moment and incorporating a Happiness Microexpression.)
• Sad Hello (Recalling a somber memory and incorporating a Sadness Microexpression.)
• Angry Hello (Recalling an infuriating moment and incorporating an Angry Microexpression.)
• Power Posing Hello (While adopting a Power Pose.)
• Normal Hello (Another control, after participants were warmed up.)

These recordings were featured on our website, and readers were invited to share their impressions of each version based on the “hello” they heard. They could choose from the following responses:

• I like this person a lot.
• I like this person a little.
• I do not like this person.

And the winner was the Happy Hello! The data showed that the happy recordings received significantly higher approval ratings than any others. This finding emphasizes that people can perceive your mood through your voice.

On the flip side, the Angry Hello performed the worst. This underscores the impact of mood and confidence on your voice, even if you’re not consciously aware of it. People are drawn to happy tones and are averse to irritable ones. So, before making those crucial first impressions—whether on the phone, via Zoom, or in person—be mindful of your mood and inner thoughts. Consider engaging in positive affirmations or doing something that brings you joy before these interactions.

Nurture self-belief through positive affirmations

Self-doubt, often fueled by reflections on past failures, comparisons with others, pursuit of perfection, lack of support, fear of rejection, or limited experience, is a significant obstacle to confidence. While a degree of self-doubt can serve as a reminder of continuous learning, it becomes detrimental when it impedes your ability to confront challenges and impacts your confidence.

To combat self-doubt and challenge negative thought patterns, foster self-belief through positive affirmations. These affirmations involve repeating words to build or sustain confidence, motivating you to achieve goals and focusing your mind.

Positive affirmations are not merely about uttering self-praises; they aim to help you identify and concentrate your mind on your values. Using affirmations that resonate with your beliefs and values is crucial; otherwise, research suggests 4 they may have the opposite desired effect.

Here are a few affirmations to kickstart your journey (but delve into our article on positive affirmations for a comprehensive list!):

• I am enough.
• I am kind.
• What would [insert hero] do?
• One step at a time.
• I’m here to be helpful.
• I have everything I need.
• I’m still learning.
• I’m grateful for ___.

Whether facing embarrassment from a mistake, disappointment in a project’s outcome, or sadness from a failed relationship, positive affirmations serve as a powerful tool to center yourself and prevent rumination on situations beyond your control.

Transform social anxiety through mindset reframing

If you frequently envision worst-case scenarios before entering social situations, you’re likely grappling with social anxiety—an experience many of us can relate to. Social anxiety not only affects your confidence but can also have adverse effects on your relationships. Take a moment to explore Vanessa Van Edwards’ insights below!

The next time you feel yourself succumbing to a negative thought spiral, consider reframing your mindset with a new question. Instead of asking, “What’s the worst that can happen?” try posing, “What’s the best that can happen?” This shift allows you to provide your mind with a positive visualization 5 of potential outcomes, training your brain towards optimistic possibilities and elevating your self-esteem!

Cultivate a growth mindset

A growth mindset entails believing that abilities and intelligence can evolve through effort and learning. Embracing this mindset encourages viewing challenges as opportunities rather than reasons for self-criticism.

To foster a growth mindset, initiate a shift in your perspective when faced with a new challenge or opportunity.

Take criticism and rejection as an opportunity to learn

Facing criticism and rejection is challenging but essential for maintaining confidence. 

Research 6 suggests that rejection activates areas of the brain associated with physical pain, making it a tough experience. However, you can turn these moments into opportunities for learning. Here are practical tips:

• Understand the context: Consider where the criticism is coming from and the person’s current situation. Understand their perspective on the situation.
• Recognize common themes: Reflect on past experiences of criticism or rejection. Identify similarities and differences to gain insights.
• Ask for clarity: Seek clarification on specific points of criticism. Understand how you can improve and address any misunderstandings.
• Seek support from trusted friends: Turn to friends who know you well for support. They can provide valuable perspectives on the criticism and help you navigate through it.

Remember, not all criticism should be taken seriously. Some may be fueled by malice and ill intent, reflecting more on the critic than on you. While learning from criticism is valuable, be discerning in distinguishing constructive feedback from baseless negativity.

Set SMART goals to stay motivated

Setting SMART goals is a powerful strategy for building confidence. This acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound, providing a framework for effective goal-setting. Here’s a breakdown of each element and its contribution:

• Specific: Clearly define your goal, making it well-defined and answering the question, “What do you want to achieve?” For example, rather than a vague goal like “get better at public speaking,” aim for “deliver a confident presentation on a specific topic to a target audience.”
• Measurable: Make your goal measurable to track progress and determine when it’s achieved. Use metrics to assess your advancement. For instance, “Increase sales by 15% in the next quarter” is a measurable goal that allows for progress tracking.
• Achievable: Ensure your goal is realistic and attainable, challenging you but within reach with effort and commitment. Setting realistic goals prevents frustration and demotivation, considering your available resources, skills, and time frame.
• Relevant: Align your goal with your objectives, values, and priorities. It should be significant and relevant to your personal or professional life. Ensuring your goal aligns with your broader aspirations and values helps maintain motivation and focus.
• Time-bound: Set a deadline or time frame for achieving your goal. This creates a sense of urgency, prevents procrastination, and keeps you accountable. Establishing milestones within the timeframe helps monitor progress and make necessary adjustments.

By applying the SMART framework, you transform vague aspirations into actionable and well-defined targets, ultimately boosting your confidence as you realize what’s possible.

Master your conversation skills

Mastering conversation skills is key to confident and engaging interactions. Awkward moments can be common, but you can improve your conversational prowess with these tips:

• Exude Friendly Body Language: Approach conversations with visible hands (showing trust), a smile (indicating friendliness), and eye contact (demonstrating interest). This non-verbal communication sets a positive tone.
• Keep Conversation Starter Questions On Hand: Move beyond generic questions like “How are you?” and ask engaging, open-ended questions. For example, “What was the highlight of your day?” sparks more interesting conversations.
• Tell Stories: Share anecdotes from your life and encourage others to do the same. Personal stories make conversations memorable and enjoyable. What are your favorite stories to share?
• Encourage Reciprocity: Avoid dominating the conversation. Encourage others to share by asking follow-up questions like “How about you?” This reciprocity enhances the dynamic of the conversation.

By incorporating these strategies, you can navigate conversations more confidently and create meaningful connections with others.

Improve your awareness

Enhancing emotional intelligence involves cultivating self-awareness and social awareness. Here are practices to develop both aspects:

Developing Self-Awareness:

1. Self-Reflection: Engage in journaling or therapeutic conversations to understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Identify patterns for positive change.
2. Seek Feedback: Obtain insights from trusted friends who can highlight your blind spots, offering valuable perspectives for personal growth.
3. Explore Interests: Discover and express your true self by engaging in activities that genuinely interest you, fostering a deeper connection with your passions.

Developing Social Awareness:

1. Active Listening: Practice being fully present with others, not only attending to verbal cues but also recognizing non-verbal cues and microexpressions to comprehend emotions, needs, and perspectives.
2. Empathy Building: Foster empathy by actively seeking to understand others’ perspectives and demonstrating compassion in your interactions.
3. Learn from Diversity: Broaden your understanding by exposing yourself to diverse cultures. Cultivate curiosity and observation as you explore and appreciate different ways of life.

By incorporating these practices, you can enhance your emotional intelligence, leading to more meaningful connections and effective communication.

Go on a social media diet

Engaging in social media can have both positive and negative impacts on confidence. Here are some considerations and tips to maintain a healthy relationship with social media:

Harmful Realities of Social Media:

1. Comparison: Comparing oneself to carefully curated posts and highlight reels may lead to feelings of inadequacy.
2. Cyberbullying and Negativity: Online harassment or hurtful comments can significantly impact self-esteem and confidence.
3. Validation-seeking Behavior: Seeking external validation through likes, comments, or followers can become a measure of self-worth.
4. Information Overload and Negative News: Constant exposure to negative news and information on social media can heighten stress and anxiety levels.

Mitigating Negative Impact:

1. Limit Screen Time: Set time limits on your phone to manage social media consumption.
2. Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that promote positivity, authenticity, or learning to create a more uplifting online environment.
3. Meaningful Interactions: Engage in meaningful conversations and interactions rather than passively scrolling through content.
4. Focus on Real-life Connections: Prioritize real-life connections and experiences over virtual interactions to balance your social experiences.

By adopting these practices, you can maintain a healthier perspective on social media and protect your confidence from its potential negative effects.

Follow the 5-second rule to follow through

Embracing the “five-second rule” can be a powerful strategy to overcome self-doubt and take swift action, especially in situations where confidence is crucial. Here’s how it works:

1. Act on Urges: When you feel the urge to act on a goal or share an idea, take action within five seconds. This helps prevent doubt from creeping in and allows confidence to materialize into action.

2. Countdown and Move: If hesitation or self-doubt arises, initiate a countdown from five and move before reaching zero. This countdown creates a sense of urgency, breaking the cycle of overthinking and preserving your confidence.

Real-life Application:

Imagine you’re in a team meeting with an innovative idea to benefit the project. As the discussion progresses, self-doubt starts to cloud your confidence. By applying the five-second rule, you overcome hesitation and share your idea before doubt takes hold. This swift action ensures your idea is heard, considered, and potentially embraced by your team.

By incorporating this concept into your decision-making process, you can effectively manage self-doubt and maintain the momentum needed to turn your ideas into action.

Combat stage fright by visualizing success

Combatting stage fright through positive visualization is an effective strategy, especially when it comes to public speaking 5. Overcoming this common fear allows your valuable ideas to be heard. Here’s how to use visualization to combat stage fright:

• Imagining Success:
  • Close your eyes and create a mental image of yourself on stage, immersed in the speaking setting.
  • Envision your composure, confident body language, and poised delivery.

     

• Clear Delivery Visualization:
  • Visualize a clear and articulate presentation, focusing on eye contact, expressive gestures, and a confident tone.

     

• Positive Audience Response:
  • Picture positive outcomes, imagining the audience nodding, engaging, and displaying genuine interest in your words.

Practice Positive Visualization 6:

By consistently practicing positive visualization, you build a constructive mindset and reduce anxiety associated with public speaking. This mental rehearsal helps you feel more confident and prepared, enhancing your ability to deliver successful and engaging presentations. Over time, the fear of public speaking can transform into a skill you embrace with confidence.

Master your craft with the 10,000-hour rule

Mastering a craft or skill is an effective confidence booster, requiring dedication and continuous learning. According to the 10,000-hour rule proposed by Malcolm Gladwell 7, achieving expertise takes a significant investment of time and effort. Here’s how you can apply this rule to your journey:

• Break It Down:
  • Divide your journey into smaller milestones, focusing on specific skills or aspects of the craft.
  • Prioritize areas for development based on your current proficiency level.

     

• Create a Practice Plan:
  
  • Develop a practice schedule with deliberate sessions targeting identified skills for improvement.
  • Be consistent and disciplined in adhering to your practice plan.

     

• Seek Expert Guidance:
  • Connect with mentors, coaches, or experts in your field for guidance, feedback, and support.
  • Utilize their expertise to structure your practice, identify areas for improvement, and accelerate progress.

     

• Track Your Progress:
  • Record and review your practice sessions regularly to track improvements and identify patterns.
  • Adjust your practice plan based on evaluations to ensure continuous growth.

     

• Emphasize Quality Over Quantity:
  • Focus on the quality of your practice rather than sheer accumulation of hours.
  • Stay engaged, mindful, and committed during practice sessions, aiming for constant improvement.

Remember that the 10,000-hour rule serves as a guideline, emphasizing deliberate practice and continuous improvement. By embracing this mindset and dedicating yourself to your chosen craft, you can steadily progress toward mastery, building confidence along the way.

Boosting Confidence Takeaways

In summary, take note of these tips and strategies to help you boost your confidence and take on life’s tough challenges. You got this!

• Cultivate Self-Belief with Positive Affirmations:
  • Use affirmations to stay centered on your identity and aspirations.

     

• Combat Social Anxiety by Reframing Your Mind:
  • Shift your perspective by asking, “What’s the best that could happen?”

     

• Identify Your Strengths and Clarify Your Purpose:
  • Discover what brings you joy and engages you in a state of flow.

     

• Develop a Growth Mindset:
  • View challenges as opportunities for personal and professional growth.

     

• Take Criticism and Rejection as an Opportunity to Learn:
  • Seek context, recognize common themes, and ask for clarity.

     

• Set SMART Goals to Stay Motivated:
  • Ensure goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

     

• Master Your Conversation Skills:
  • Bring out the best in yourself and others through effective communication.

     

• Take Up a Stress-Reducing Hobby:
  • Engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation to counteract stress.

     

• Build Your Assertiveness with “I” Statements:
  • Use assertive language to express needs, boundaries, ideas, and opinions.

     

• Practice Your Vocal Power:
  • Project confidence through your voice during conversations.

     

• Improve Your Awareness:
  • Enhance self-awareness through reflection and seek feedback from others.
    
  • Develop social awareness by practicing active listening and empathy.

     

• Limit Social Media Consumption:
  • Be mindful of social media’s impact on mental health and practice healthy habits.

     

• Follow the 5-Second Rule:
  • Act swiftly on confident impulses before self-doubt sets in.

     

• Combat Stage Fright by Visualizing Success:
  • Picture a successful presentation to reduce anxiety and build confidence.

     

• Master Your Craft with the 10,000-Hour Rule:
  • Dedicate time and effort to continuous learning and improvement in your chosen field.

For more ideas to boost your confidence through your body language, check out our course LIAR OR LEGIT?

1. https://blog.gitnux.com/self-confidence-statistics/  
2. https://www.businessinsider.com/some-peple-are-genetically-wired-to-be-confident-2014-4?r=US&IR=T 
3. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=Q4g1RU96QaYC&oi=fnd&pg=PA3&dq=nurture+confidence&ots=Tp6ppi5yw-&sig=yAgNIeGJtNeVl1fL7y9Z5G6OLvk 
4. https://www.uni-muenster.de/imperia/md/content/psyifp/aeechterhoff/wintersemester2011-12/seminarthemenfelderdersozialpsychologie/04_wood_etal_selfstatements_psychscience2009.pdf 
5. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5351796/   
6. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3273616/ 
7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4662388/#:~:text=Throughout%20his%20book%2C%20Gladwell%20repeatedly,at%20least%2010%20000%20hours.